[00:00:00] Foreign. [00:00:05] You're listening to casual talk radio where common sense is still the norm, whether you're a new or long time listener. We appreciate you joining us today. Visit [email protected] and now, here's your host, Ler. Good morning or afternoon wherever you are. [00:00:24] Casual talk radio Gentleman's world. My name is Leister. I'm your host back. It's been a while since we've chatted last. There's good reason. [00:00:32] I said in the past, you may have missed, but you're new. Welcome. I said that. [00:00:37] The cadence, look it up, the frequency, the urgency. [00:00:43] I needed to make sure it's appropriate. What I don't want to do, just to give some clarity, what I don't ever want to do is go to the motions at a point, got to where I was going through the motions. I don't want to go through the motions. And just to clarify, I don't make money on the podcast. It's not why I do it. [00:01:04] I do it because I enjoy chatting with folks. I enjoy sharing information and most importantly, I honestly feel it helps keep the brain sharp to some degree. [00:01:14] It helps. It forces you to think. It forces you to process and not lose. Especially now because you've got so many people that they lack the basics of things. They I'm appalled, frankly, at people that simply cannot spell anymore. That's just appalling to me. I'm appalled at people that don't seem to understand basic concepts like I take for granted, I take them for granted. Others seem to struggle with if people need help, I'm there to help. But these are not people that want the help. They're just going through life. [00:01:48] I didn't want to do that. [00:01:50] I work and, you know, I'm, I don't want to say hustling and surviving. That's not the way to phrase it. But certainly I'm not where I'd like to be, put it that way. [00:02:01] But I'm not nearly where I was 20, 21, in the trenches, not even close. So I'm in the middle. I don't want to be in the middle. That's where everybody is. Why would you want to be where everybody's at? [00:02:12] I want to be where I want to be. [00:02:15] Goals, vision. [00:02:17] And you accept you as in human, you accept at a point there's somewhere you want to be and something you want to do and you might be running out of time. I don't know if I'm running out of time. [00:02:30] But we understand, all of us, that time is not given. [00:02:37] And it certainly is not infinite. [00:02:40] And so no matter what, you have to assume you don't have time. [00:02:45] That's what encourages you or strengthens you to continue pushing forward. [00:02:50] So two parts. First, something hit me. Something occurred to me. Something was. It's like the bright flashing light in my eyes. And I wanted to share that one for sure. [00:03:04] I can't explain to you where it came from, but it connects very closely, I think, to the other part. [00:03:13] And I've. That one I talked to multiple people about. And that one's more just a. It's more just a story about people and interrelationships. [00:03:23] So the first. And by the way, there is a giveaway. [00:03:27] I'm going to spoiler alert you. [00:03:30] I'm almost confident that nobody's going to get this answer. [00:03:35] You might be wondering how that's possible. I stumped a lot of people at the last one. [00:03:40] This was even worse because this came from something that used to be on YouTube. [00:03:46] The date of the file is 2012. I'm somewhat of a digital pack rat for certain things. If I think this is prone to being deleted, I'm tempted to download it and save it because I don't want it to be lost. [00:04:03] So this particular one, I saved it. I remember doing it. I remember why. [00:04:09] Because I wanted to do something with this specific file later. [00:04:14] And then I stumbled across it because I was cleaning up some of my digital files because I'm a digital pack rat. So I'm going to let you hear something from this and I'll hit you with the trivia question. [00:04:27] I'm just gonna spoiler. [00:04:29] I'm 99% confident nobody will get this right. [00:04:35] 99% confident, and I apologize. But you got to be. You got to understand. Some people were too quick with the answers. Some people were. I needed to step up the difficulty ever slightly. So that last one, I was on the right track. I was stumping people. That was good. [00:04:53] Now I gotta stump a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. And eventually we'll get to a point of satisfaction where people are not so quickly guessing because I know some of them are guessing. It's not really knowledge. This one's going to be a guessing. I like the guessing ones more than the knowledge ones. Why? Because you can't use AI to cheat, right? That, you know, that's. [00:05:17] If I give you something where you can cheat with AI, what fun is that? This is to tap into the real you. This is to tap into your inner self. This is to Tap into the person you think you should be. [00:05:28] This is to force people to think. [00:05:31] But this one, it's not about thought. [00:05:34] This one is. [00:05:36] You may or may not have even experienced it. That's what's so exciting. And if you did, you might not remember it. And if you do, you wouldn't even know where to start looking. [00:05:46] We're gonna have some fun. But let's talk about the topics first. [00:05:50] Back in 20, I want to say 2009, 2010, somewhere around there, I, I had shifted jobs in 2008. I was working at a company, didn't like working there, couldn't stand 99 of people worked there. That's par for the course. Couldn't stand them. I had told them, this is late 20, 2007, roughly 2008. Somewhere in there, I had told them, this situation needs to change, it needs to fix. [00:06:21] And this person, you need to check them at the door or I'm out of here. [00:06:26] I straight told him this instead of fixing it. The person who ran this department authorized giving me. They basically gave me a bonus, like 6,000 bucks. [00:06:40] Now, again, this is mid 2000, so it's way back. And that went a little bit further. [00:06:46] You know, I think they might have even given me a raise. I think, I don't remember that. I remember the bonus, but I don't know about the raise. They were kind of, they were kind of picky with the money. [00:06:58] There were two things happening. First, this one person shady is all get out. [00:07:04] This is a person I used to report to. [00:07:06] That person being shady as all get out. [00:07:10] Got jealous because the person that he reported to, which eventually became the person we both reported to, as in, I started reporting to his boss directly. So now I'm essentially his peer. [00:07:25] So that pissed him off. [00:07:27] That boss started giving me and entrusting me with more responsibilities for the department. That pissed him off. [00:07:35] And amazing I was at this company, I was, I don't want to say a ladies man. That's not the right term, but I had a magnetism that wasn't by. I wasn't doing it on purpose. It just, it's what it was. I worked in the call center, and when I worked in the call center a lot, it was predominantly women. Just what it was like. I, I, it had to be 60 women, 30 men. Like, literally, that's it was what it was. [00:08:07] One of them, who's a friend of mine, she would go on to become an adult film star. [00:08:13] We all expected it because of the way she looked. She just had that look. But Feet away from me. Sweet gal. Nice gal. She took that money, spun up her own yoga business. [00:08:27] Brilliant. Not dumb, not nothing. Just a brilliant person. [00:08:30] You would have other ones where they were struggling to get where they wanted to go, like they were going to college and they couldn't get their foot in the door, so they were in the call center. [00:08:40] So one of those. [00:08:43] She wanted to get into finance. I was. I had a good working relationship with the person who was the treasurer of this company. [00:08:52] Cool guy. But I felt he wasn't qualified as a leader, but he was a good person. [00:09:00] So she had applied when I moved departments, she had applied. And he said she listed me as a reference because she was, you know, she and I were friends. Okay, no problem. He calls me in and he's saying, she listed you to reference. [00:09:18] And I forget the specific questions he asked, but he was really concerned about. He openly said, I'm concerned her lack of experience. She doesn't have experience. And I'm concerned about hiring her. [00:09:29] And what I told him was she had a solid work ethic, because she did. [00:09:34] She has energy, which she did. [00:09:37] She wants it because she's going through college for it. That shows a desire. [00:09:43] Those are things that are not in question. The lack of experience is open, but the other. The desire is you cannot question it. And I would vouch for that. All day long. [00:09:54] He gives her the. He offers her the job, gives her the job. And he tells her, I wasn't in the room, but he tells her, I wasn't going to hire you. But his. [00:10:06] His statement was what, put it over. [00:10:09] He gave you a really good reference that he spoke highly of you as a hard worker. I'll give you the shot. Okay, so she gets what's essentially her dream job. Now, what frustrated me about this interaction, I had a girl I was dating. [00:10:23] And I'm pretty sure certain people are listening to the show here who may or may not be aware of this situation, but they may not know the details. But I was involved with a. With a girl years ago. [00:10:37] I don't remember the exact year. I want to say 99, 2000, 2001, somewhere around there. [00:10:47] And this girl was introduced to me by my mother because this girl apparently came to the. To her church one day. This is the story I'm told. I don't know if it's true. [00:11:02] And she told me to call this girl because this girl was going through some rough times. [00:11:10] And I might have told this story in a past episode, but we may have a new listener. [00:11:14] So I ultimately, I start Talking to this girl and I'll get back to the other one at the work because it connects. But I. We start a conversation. She's a nice person on the phone, no problems. At that point we decide to meet up. [00:11:28] I go meet her. She looks a dead ringer. Like if you didn't know, you would swear it was Brandy Norwood, the singer. Look, look up. Her photo looked dead like her at that time. The braids, the face, the everything dead ringer. [00:11:44] I go. And we're hanging out. We get. This is when Blockbuster existed. [00:11:50] So we rent. What was it? [00:11:52] Was that the. [00:11:54] I can't remember if that was no talented Mr. Ripley movie. Matt Demon. [00:11:59] Terrible movie. But that's the movie, right, that you wanted to see. [00:12:05] I noticed. While we're there now, I'm. I'm a. You know, I'm not the. The wolf, right? I'm physical contact you gotta initiate. I'm not gonna be all over you. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna assume, right? So we're sitting good distance because I'm trying to be respectful. [00:12:21] Consider where I learned about this person. It came from her church, right? [00:12:26] I look around her place. I happen to notice on the fireplace mantle there's a photo frame shattered. [00:12:34] There's a picture, she's in the picture. And some people I don't recognize, but it's. It's glass. The glass is shattered. It's up on the thing. I didn't think too much of it at the time. [00:12:45] So. Movie ends. All good. We had chatted for a little bit, but we didn't do anything deep. I was trying to again, cuz it was presented. She just was looking for a friend, right? So that's what I'm doing. I'm trying to be a gentleman. I'm trying not to assume anything. [00:13:00] No problem. Wish her a good evening at home. [00:13:04] I get a call, she. And it's her. She says, why didn't you give you a hug? [00:13:10] Just like that. I'm like, well, I didn't want to assume anything. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I didn't want to, you know. [00:13:18] So at that point I should have seen the flag. I didn't. [00:13:24] We decided to spend more time. It's like, look, if. If there's something where there was interest, all you gotta do is say so. You know, I'm not, I'm not gonna read your mind and I'm not gonna jump on you and I'm not going to. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna assume okay, so we spent a couple more days. [00:13:40] One of these days she says she, she's out of work, she's trying to get back to work, but she needs a car. [00:13:50] She says she doesn't have any money and because she's not working. [00:13:55] So first step is to try to get a job. [00:13:59] She tells me what her dream job is and I think it was a live in like a person that, that a live in care person for elderly. I think that's what she said. [00:14:10] Okay, well, I knew people and I worked to get essentially her a position doing exactly what she wanted to do for a living. [00:14:22] Easy. Didn't you know, because I knew people at that time. So she's really excited. She's at this point she's starting to be a little bit more affectionate. We're not talking kissing and stuff. I'm just saying, you know, physical contact, close, that kind of thing, hugs, etc, so, okay, no problem. I'm still not going to be aggressive but if I can help you out, I can help you out. We'll be friends. We're fine. That's my, that's what's going in my head. If I can help you out, I'll help you. I, I'll take a hug, you know, I'll take neck hugs. Those who know me, those in the know from those when I worked when I was dating back then, they would understand. [00:15:01] You can, you don't need to do much. Okay. Back then you didn't need to do much. The neck hug was all I needed. I was, I was good. [00:15:10] So now she's got her dream job. Now she, she needs to get to the work she needs to get a car. Okay, she's got a job. So now she can prove income. [00:15:18] She tells me her dream car, it's a Mitsubishi Galant 1996. You're like, how does it. So specific. She was specific. She said, that's my dream car. Mitsubishi Galant 1996. Take a, take a look at the photo. It's a nice car. And at that time, you know, it was stylish. It's not like the garbage we have today. [00:15:33] Fine. I knew some people at dealerships, took her down to the dealership. I had a car, took her down to the dealership, found the exact car she wanted, exact color she wanted. The whole night we're sitting in front of the guy and she's filled the paperwork and he says, and I remember this, this interaction. He says, so are you doing this by yourself? Is he going with you? Is this your, you know, is he Going to be on the application. Is he your boyfriend? Is your husband? What's going on? [00:16:08] She says it's my boyfriend. Now. We hadn't discussed any such a thing, so that's news to me. [00:16:14] I'm not going to co. Sign on this car because it's, you know, I'm. I'm just making a contact. [00:16:20] Once we start talking about money, that's a whole different problem. But, but you know, I'll help you make your own, but I'm not so. But when she said that again, it's another flag, shattered glass, the, the ranting about a hug and all this. And. And then now this. Whatever she signs gets the car. She now has her dream job and her dream car. And I am singularly responsible for these two things. And I didn't ask anything of her for this. I'm doing it because I wanted to, not because I had to, not because I want anything in return. Return. There was no quid pro. I was not trying to get in her pants. [00:16:55] I was going under this, the assumption she's a friend and I want to help a friend. That's how I, I was always at that time, if I could help you, I'll help you. All you really got to give me, you know, is hey, if your neck hugs. I was good. I didn't need anything beyond that. If your time spend. I'm good. I didn't need much beyond that. It's just I'm not. [00:17:20] There are dudes that will do those things for quid pro and won't even tell you until after you've done it. I was never one of those ever people who are honest women who are honest that I interacted with all of them to a T. If they were honest with you would tell you. There's never been a time that he tried to get in my pants over something ever. Because it didn't make sense to me. [00:17:44] If you got a bribe, a girl to get in their pants, you're doing something wrong, brother. That was. [00:17:50] That's been my mantra since day one. Like you, it should be easy if it's just sex you want. That should be simple. The hard part is to convince a girl that you're not trying to do that. It's backwards, it's jacked up. But this is the reality that we're in. [00:18:11] So my point is that I'm doing these things because I'm trying to be a friend. It's if your dream job, sure. Your dream car, sure. If I got contacts, if I can call a guy and get you set up. I will help you out at that time anyway. [00:18:25] And I'm not asking much. I'm just asking the regular routine that to me, I think should be okay. Especially if you're single. That's in my head. Okay, she's single, this one. [00:18:37] According to her, she's not. But you know what I'm saying. [00:18:40] Now fast forward back to the first one I'm talking about in the workplace. [00:18:44] I did that. Not because I was trying to get in this girl's pants. A. I knew she was married. She was married. She wasn't married when I first met her, but she married a guy, changed her last name, no problem. [00:18:56] It didn't change the fact that I enjoyed her company and I wasn't trying to move on her even when she wasn't married. [00:19:03] Was she my type? No. But yeah, I wasn't picky at the then I wasn't really picky, but I wasn't trying to get. I wasn't trying to date her. I wasn't trying to date the one that became a porn star. There was again, countless women on the floor. I wasn't trying to date any one of them. The closest I can think of might have been Kristen. And you don't know who Kristen is, but Kristen, if you think about Hillary Swank in her prime, that's what Kristen looked like. Kristen was the coolest chick you could think of. [00:19:34] So if I, if I were to have been open to dating, she would be the only one I would have approached. I wasn't open to dating because it's, you know, you don't dip your pen in the company Inc on top of this. [00:19:46] So anyway, finance. She gets this job. It's her dream job. I'm trying to help her out. She, she physically comes up to me. [00:19:56] Thankful. She gives me a hug. She appreciates what I did for her. She's so grateful. It's her dream job. No problem. Fast forward. It's my birthday now. [00:20:07] She offers. Let's go to. Let's go grab some lunch. Because we had. [00:20:11] This is another thing. Some of the girls, they would just invite me to go to lunch. There's nothing to it. She just invited me to go to lunch. Either it's lunch or go get ice cream or whatever. They're just inviting me out and we're just chatting on stuff. It's, it's, there's nothing to it. She invited to go to lunch. We went to. I want to say it was Sizzler, but we went to the restaurant. [00:20:31] No problem. We're chatting at one point, I said something to the effect of, I'm appreciative of being here, It's a great birthday present, or something of that nature. It was a very benign statement that I just. I was making the statement that it's my birthday. I'm glad to be here with you because it's my birthday. And you didn't have to do that because she didn't. [00:20:52] Right. [00:20:53] It's all I said now. She had been talkative up to this point. Everything's fine up to this point. And then all of a sudden, she changed and she had sent me a text message. This is about. This is back during early day text messaging. [00:21:08] At that time, I was fine with text messaging. [00:21:12] So she sent me a text message and she said something to the effect of, I don't think we should spend any more time together. [00:21:19] I think you're starting to have feelings for me or some garbage like it's out of left field. Made no sense because all I said was, you're asking me to go to lunch. It's my birthday. You know, it's my birthday. I'm assuming you're doing it, it's my birthday, and I'm appreciative that you're doing it on my birthday. [00:21:35] And somehow that gets translated to I'm hitting on you. [00:21:39] That mantra. [00:21:40] That mantra would continue. It's just, you can't. You can't even compliment without being accused of something nefarious. And then all of a sudden, let's say there was a misunderstanding. Let's say she misunderstood because she did. And I tell you, no, that's not. And I did tell her, I'm sorry, you're misunderstanding. That's not my intent. But all. At that point, it's all bets off, can't talk to you, it's done, dusted, whatever. That's just a continual thing where you can't even do a basic compliment on a person. [00:22:14] Right. [00:22:16] That's roughly around the time where mentally, I started checking out of trying to be helpful. I still did it, but nowhere near like I would. Would have done. [00:22:28] I toned it back because I couldn't, no matter what. It's something I like to do, but I'm not comfortable with women who just take it as if I'm trying to get in their pants when I work hard not to do that. [00:22:43] Okay, but now after all this folderol, and it happened a couple times after all this folderol and true dating folderol, so there's two parts. One is where I'm not trying to date you. One is where I am trying to date you, and it's a bunch of folder. All right? [00:23:02] So at some point, I just flipped a switch in my mind, and I'm like, is it really worth all this drama? Like, is it really? Am I being enriched by this? And the answer is no. My. I'm not making the money. I think I should. I'm not going where I think I should go. [00:23:19] It doesn't make any sense. [00:23:21] Maybe I'm just distracted. Like, I told the story about the Bulgarian girl ages ago. Maybe I'll tell the story again. The. The Russian supermodel girl. Maybe I'll tell that story again. It. It was just on and on and on and on. And then it's the extreme opposite. The Asian girl that tried to rape me in my place. No, I'm not kidding. She tried to rape me in my place. [00:23:42] It just. No matter what it was, it's just. [00:23:46] It. You can't win for losing. You can't hit this nice, easy middle ground. [00:23:55] And I flipped a switch. I flipped a switch. It's not worth this drama. [00:24:00] Let me get myself in order. Let me get myself where I need to be. [00:24:05] And I was working steadily, Hard, hard, hard. I was. I was nose to nose to grind. And I got to a point. 2021, Covid hits. [00:24:15] It all comes crumbling down. Because there was a point I was. I was somewhere in the neighborhood of half a million dollars a year, easy. And then Covid hit. And then one of the two companies started playing games. The other one was having issues. [00:24:32] They had to react. Budget, okay, no problem. I understand. [00:24:36] I could find companies. They were desperate to get people, but they were trying to pull people in the office. I wasn't going to do it because the government specifically said, don't be in. You know, don't be a mixed company if you don't have to just let them work from home. And the companies wouldn't do it for the longest time. They're a little bit more flex now. Not much, but a little bit. But at the time, it was tough. 2021 was tough. And that whole everything I'd built crumbling down. Fortunately, I had enough wherewithal to build up enough to. To sustain somewhat. Then I got my client. Been working them for years. Cool. [00:25:11] After I'm getting back up to speed, I started reflecting. [00:25:16] I wanted to think about one of these other situations that I think it went good. It didn't end like I might have liked to, but that's okay. And here's why it's okay. [00:25:28] After I left that Company with that person. And by the way, she got laid off where I didn't. [00:25:36] I'm not celebrating, I'm just telling what it is. She got laid off. The vast majority of them got laid off. Vast majority of the people that, that I had some sort of positive relationship with got laid off. [00:25:48] I left that company because I told them, you need to fix the situation, it's not going to work. They didn't fix the situation. So I chose to walk away. [00:25:57] I was asking to get laid off. They weren't going to do it because I wanted the severance. [00:26:01] But I wasn't going to stay there and continue the nonsense go different company. [00:26:04] This company hired me because they had a gal that was working there and she was going through some. [00:26:11] She was going through some situations. She was having family situations, she had a kid, she had a person who really, really was in love with her. Like death, dead to rights in love with this girl. [00:26:22] And she was still young. She was still young at heart. She still was kind of wild, would kind of still run the streets and hadn't yet calmed down and she got into some tough stuff. [00:26:35] When I say tough stuff, I don't want to put her business out there. Suffice to say she was young and she made some decisions and they were. She would even say if you were to ask her, she made some decisions, that she doesn't necessarily regret the decisions, but she had to force herself for her kid. She had to force herself to grow up quickly because it just wasn't happening when people thought it should. [00:26:59] So she left for medical reasons to try to get her stuff together. [00:27:03] They hired me because there was a shortfall. They were struggling. They had a bunch of clients. I come in, I help them get kind of stable, get calmed down, no problem. She comes back one day, she and I now technically I took her position, but they kept all three of us. But she and I had hit it off. [00:27:24] She was a really cool person given every story I'd heard about her because stories. This was a very shady company, by the way. Gossip was common. They would gossip, they gossiped about me, they gossiped about everybody. Because here at this company it was the same thing as with the prior where there were at least 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, maybe 6 girls. And they were just flirty. [00:27:49] Not like hook up with you flirty, just what they were. Some of them were touchy feely. I had each one of their phone numbers. I had photos from various of them. Like they just. And I was not approaching them, they were approaching me again at that time there was a magnetism I could not explain. I couldn't explain. It wasn't something I tried to do. [00:28:10] It just seemed to happen. She was this. This girl. She was one of them. [00:28:14] But it was different with her versus the rest of them, because with her, there was never a sense that she was trying to hit on me, per se. [00:28:22] And she treated it the way she handled it. She treated it like just a really cool friendship, which I appreciated. I actually have a photo with her and I at the Padre Stadium, because our company, we would do these presentations and we would set up one of those. [00:28:40] What do you call them? The suites up in the. Up in the decks. We would set that up and we would have customers come in and we would do dog and pony shows, and I would help some of the setups. [00:28:50] So I have a photo with her and I on one of these setups. [00:28:56] That photo, by the way, that was the moment I realized I need to do a better job taking care of my body, because it's got to be the worst photo I've ever taken. She would. She. I actually told her this afterwards, and she said, there's nothing wrong with your body. It's all about pose and how you stand. [00:29:17] But no, no, this was horrible, horrible, horrible. [00:29:25] In any event, she was. She would do like. We had a. There was a barbecue. They had a Cutley barbecue, and we were standing in line, and she would just come up and grab my arm and say, he's my date for the day. Or she would say, you know, take, let's go to lunch, or let's do this. And she would send texts all the time. She actually. [00:29:47] And this started really early. When she came back, she actually required me. [00:29:53] She required me to get up and give her a hug every morning. [00:29:58] Every morning. And she was a neck hugger, and she had an amazing body. [00:30:04] So now you're. For me, I'm tempted. I'm tested. [00:30:08] And I passed the test because there's an attraction, but it wasn't something I was going to act on. A, because I knew what she had gone through. B, because of her kid and out of respect for him. [00:30:19] C, because you still got this guy that's madly in love with her. And I'm never a home wrecker, but I don't need to because there's enough of a relationship here, I can work with it. And it's all I need. All I need is the neck hug. [00:30:32] That's all I need. She eventually would leave to marry him, finish raising her kid. Her kid is taller than her now it's amazing how he shot up. [00:30:45] And after she leaves. [00:30:50] There was a different girl that I had a connection with. And this one, I don't know what her problem was, but this girl had told me that there was some gossip going on with some of the girls in accounting that they thought this other girl, the one that I made the close connection to, they thought she was trying to sleep with me and I had turned her down. [00:31:17] That was disappointing. A. Because why would you think she would try? Like, I couldn't think I was anywhere close to her type. Just. Just to be clear here, I don't think I, I. She would say. [00:31:30] She would say I had a nice body, sure. She would say I smell good. Because every girl, I mean, geez, at that time, smelling good was never a problem. She would say I was dressed to the nines. She. She would say I was clean. But I can guarantee you I was nowhere near her type. Nowhere near her type. It was just. [00:31:50] And she said, I didn't judge her. I didn't judge her for anything that I had heard or seen. [00:31:59] I treated her as an equal because to me, she was. [00:32:03] I didn't let anything change how we interacted. [00:32:08] I helped her where I could. [00:32:10] I helped the company when she was out, and I. I wanted to make sure they weren't going to try to pull some fast nonsense and try to cut her just because I'm here. It's not fair, you know? [00:32:22] So she was appreciative of. And that's really where it came from. She was appreciative of the fact that I stepped up as a friend when everybody else either took advantage of her or was against her. So that's why I was kind of pissed off hearing that chatter that they would say something like that about her when there's no way that would happen. But also, this narrative that I would have turned her down pissed me off. Are you kidding me? [00:32:48] Because again, I'm not a home wrecker. [00:32:51] But if you ask, I'm not going to tell you no. Let's just be clear here with her. [00:32:58] She had an amazing body. [00:33:00] She was absolutely gorgeous to me. To me, absolute sweetheart. And I had no. [00:33:08] Oops, all you got to do is ask. And I would not have said no. I just not gonna. I'm not gonna go after you. [00:33:16] So I was pissed on two fronts. I was pissed they would do that to her when I'm not her type. And I know I was not her type, but I'm pissed they would assume that would have turned her down because if she had asked, I would not have said no. Regardless. [00:33:31] And pretty much any of the girls that I was chatting with at that time, if they had asked, I would not have said no. One of them, they presented like their computer was messed up. [00:33:42] My computer's having problems. I can't figure it. Slow. I can't figure it out. No problem. I'll take a look at it for you. [00:33:49] Suffice to say, this girl had to know that certain photos were left in prominent places on the computer when they handed it to me. [00:34:01] And I'm gonna leave that there, regardless. [00:34:05] I had a magnetism at the time, but I had switched off. [00:34:11] I wasn't trying to hit on him. I wasn't trying to date him. I wasn't trying to do anything. I just switched off. I was. I was done. I was mentally spent on this. But it got me thinking with her, it got me thinking. She had veered off the path and she was trying to get back on the road. [00:34:31] And I had. [00:34:33] I was working to avoid mines, landmines. I was walking the path straight, but there was landmines be put in the way. And then 2021, the government put a large landmine they wouldn't let you avoid. [00:34:47] Everything was set up for people to fail with her. [00:34:53] She. [00:34:54] If I picture it in my mind, she started walking alongside of me when she came back because we were both in a form of recovery. [00:35:04] I'll say spiritual recovery. I don't want to say emotional recovery. It's kind of a spiritual recovery. Her spirit was damaged by everything she had done. [00:35:15] My spirit wasn't damaged. My spirit wasn't home. [00:35:18] It wasn't there. It was. [00:35:22] I'm just kind of going through the motions and I'm kind of switched off. [00:35:26] The brain still doing what it needs to do, but there's no this pride in what I'm doing. But there's no initiative driving me forward. It's more. I know I can do it and I'll just get past this and collect the check spirit. [00:35:46] For me, it's here now to some degree that rhymes. It's more. [00:35:52] Am I pushing beyond my own limitations? [00:35:56] Am I accepting where I'm at? Or am I pushing to be further up? [00:36:02] I didn't have that back then. And I was trying to build it back because I had it at a point when I was working call center in 2003, 2004, I had it to the end. [00:36:14] I was. I was the person who was going to stand out. I was going to be better than everybody else. I lost that because I was switched off because this nonsense kept happening and I got dispirited. [00:36:27] I'm on the path of recovery in the. In my own way. There was no drugs, there was no alcohol. I'm straight edge. But my point is that I lost a piece of what I had because I was switched off, which was distracting me. My focus wasn't there, and I was on the path of recovery on my own. And then she comes from the side and she starts walking her own path, but in parallel to mine. We're both on the path to the recovery, which I would argue is what made us kindred in that, at least for that moment, made us kindred spirits because we both had our own paths. We had to get back on and get back on track. [00:37:10] I chatted with her later. This was about. This is 2014. [00:37:16] I was going to another company now. [00:37:20] And she had, she had. I had sent her a message. I sent her a text message what this other girl had told me that these gossiping chicks were talking about that. I wanted to ask her about it because I thought it was odd that she and I were brought up in mixed conversation. And I wanted to know if there was something that she had said or thought that I wasn't aware of. And I knew she'd be transparent. She calls me and she tells me the story. [00:37:48] Her backstory is she had consensual relations with at least three people connected to the workspace. [00:38:00] One of them in very high power and very high authority. [00:38:04] And because of that there was. She had a reputation around the office. They knew that this happened because everybody was a blabber mouth. And at least one of them I can think of would have been going around bragging that he couldn't quote, nailed this very attractive young lady. HR didn't care that this happened. They knew it happened. They didn't care. They didn't do anything about it because those people should have been fired. They didn't do anything about it. So this contributed partially to her decline because again, she was young and she had experienced more than she should have and she put a lot of wear and tear on herself. But she had to step away because she had a kid that needed her and a person who was madly in love with her. That person who was madly in love with her knew about these relations and stuck by her side regardless of them. So when she comes back after all that that happened, everything that she went through, you talk about trials and tribulations. She comes back and she. She encounters me and I'm the last person on the list that's going to try to hit on her. Because I had already heard she. What she had gone through. Not this, not the relation stuff, but other things she was going through. I had already heard that. But also I'm at the workplace. Two, three. I'm still recovering myself. I don't have emotions at this. That's. I'm expressing serious emotions. I didn't have emotions at this point. I'm going through the motions. [00:39:41] I don't have any sort of energy with what I'm really doing. [00:39:46] I have knowledge, I have skill. I have talent. I don't have energy. I don't have passion. I don't have desire. [00:39:53] I'm going through it. So when she comes and I see there's somebody here and she's connected to me, with me not even half trying, I don't even have to try, and she's connecting to me, it cracks that shell. [00:40:10] It tells me I have to have spirit. I just need to make sure that I channel it in the right direction. I can't give it to everybody because they don't deserve it. Certain people deserve it. She's one that deserved it because she's sharing hers with me. She's sharing her spirit with me. The least I can do is share my spirit with her and then disregard these other people who ain't worth the damn. [00:40:36] Boom, a light goes off. It's really that simple. [00:40:40] I don't have to suppress the spirit. I have to focus the spirit. I have to make sure it's tuned to the people who deserve it. The sad truth is that there's very few people that you meet that deserve to share that spirit. [00:40:56] It's hard to find people who deserve to share the spirit because once you share the spirit, this is separating marriage. It's not even about marriage. [00:41:06] Once you share the spirit, it's difficult to bring it back because you've now made yourself vulnerable in a very telling way. So when she's sharing openly, this is what I did, this is what I went through. This is probably why they're saying those things. And she even apologized. I'm sorry you're being brought into. [00:41:27] Because of my mistakes I made in the past. And I assured her it doesn't bother me. I wanted to just understand. [00:41:35] Was there anything that could have possibly explained it? Something you thought, felt said? And she said, no. It's simply. I had a reputation. They saw us spending time. They make an assumption. That's how I saw it. I. I'm cool with it now. If I. [00:41:53] If, let's say that was now. Of course, it's been, like, almost 12, 13 years. [00:41:59] But if I were in the same situation now, the mind space I'm in now, back then, I might have said. In fact, I know I would have said, okay, they. [00:42:12] They're misinterpreting some stuff with him. Okay, let's just go with it. Let's go with it. [00:42:21] Let's let them. Let's give them cause to think things. [00:42:27] Let's go with it. She might have even played along because that's how cool she was with it. [00:42:32] But, you know, that's me now, because I understood later, not then, but later. [00:42:44] The talking will continue. [00:42:46] It's just in the corner. Let's just do whatever. They're gonna do whatever. So we should do whatever. We don't have to allow that to impact what we're doing. [00:42:56] We don't have to mess with it. Let's. It could be something simple, right? We happen to see they're walking by. Give me the deepest neck hug you can afford to give me right now. [00:43:06] Let's. Let's let them. Let's let them talk and see where it goes. [00:43:13] Because I would have had more fun doing it that way than just letting it fester. [00:43:19] It didn't affect us. It was just. I wished. I wished I'd had the same comfort of spirit then that I have now. And I didn't have it, unfortunately. [00:43:32] And it's fine. [00:43:34] In closing the other half of this part that I'm talking about, because it all ties together. I had conversations about people past and present, but largely past. I had conversations about people where some would say, well, this person over here, if they're saying something, and I think I covered this on an episode, they're saying something, doing something. [00:44:03] Why don't you get involved? [00:44:05] The truth is, as I said, the spirit. [00:44:10] I have to be studious. I have to be very cautious about where I extend that spirit. [00:44:17] But it's worse than that because it goes to Bernie Mac has a saying. He had a saying, may rest in peace. [00:44:24] I don't care if you don't like me. I like me. [00:44:27] It. It really is that simple. A person cannot accept connections of spirit if they don't like themselves. [00:44:37] People on the outside can judge you and say you don't like yourself. [00:44:42] You're the only one that can know if you like yourself. [00:44:46] The gal I was just telling the story of, she learned to love herself after years of not doing so because she had a kid who loved her and she had a man who desperately loved her. [00:45:01] But they Couldn't help her. She had to help herself get out of the pit. She dug for herself. [00:45:07] It didn't matter. [00:45:09] And I know both of them showered her with that love. [00:45:14] The people she had relations with, there was no love there. [00:45:17] It was a. [00:45:19] It was her reaching out for what she thought would get her, what she felt she was missing. It was empty. [00:45:26] She had to step away. [00:45:28] And at a point, she turned to substances that she thought were going to fill those gaps. And it wasn't going to work either. That's why she had to kind of go get the help she needed. Then she had to meet people with positive energy that can let her know it's okay to love yourself. [00:45:51] You don't need. [00:45:52] You don't need to have relations with somebody to love yourself. You don't need substances to love yourself. You don't need any of the stuff. You've tried them. [00:46:04] You didn't feel any better. [00:46:06] You don't need that. What you need is to simply love yourself. Take the time to accept it. But more importantly, disregard those people who tell you that you don't love yourself. Ignore them. They don't matter. [00:46:21] You're the only one that can tell you whether you love yourself or not. It's a feeling. It is a feeling of confidence and a feeling of strong spirit. [00:46:30] And it's fine if you need to lean on someone in order to strengthen your own, temporarily or permanently. It's perfectly fine. Don't feel like you have to walk it alone. I talked about the walking of the path. [00:46:47] I didn't do from my lens anything significant to help her. [00:46:55] However, it's clear we intersected at a point that has to be more than coincidence. [00:47:04] Where we were both spiritually at similar levels, meaning not comfortable, not confident, not at maximum spirit. We weren't where we really should have been individually. [00:47:19] And so when we start walking in parallel, not necessarily together, but in parallel, you cannot disregard the timing of when that happened. That it may simply be I needed to have somebody like her come around to convince me, you don't have to fully switch off. You just have to make sure to direct the spirit in the right direction and be patient. Where her encountering me told her, not every guy's trying to get in your pants. Although it's difficult to find us. [00:47:53] Maybe it was meant to, to happen that way. Maybe it was meant to create the connection. Maybe it plays a small part in your healing and your journey. [00:48:04] When people say from the past, there are certain of these X, Y, and they say, well, should you not do something? Say something, etc. [00:48:15] I can't unless they are willing to take that step themselves. Just like I had to do. [00:48:22] Just like she had to do. We all have to do it. [00:48:26] It's not about marriage. It's not about money. It's not about sex. It's not about any of it. It's just an acceptance. [00:48:34] They are who they are. [00:48:36] They must of themselves choose to change. If they don't, there's nothing you can do to help them. [00:48:47] Dana Plato. [00:48:50] Different strokes, I believe. Dana Plato, I don't know who's old enough to remember. [00:48:57] She was in a very rough spot near the end. [00:49:01] Very rough spot. Drugs. She goes on the Howard Stern show against people's advice. [00:49:07] She. She's not of right mind. She agrees to take a. I believe it was a hair test or drugs, because callers were beating her up. [00:49:17] Now, this is before social media, but callers, people were calling him. They were beating her up because they. They felt she was on drugs. They didn't care about her at all. [00:49:27] After the show's off, she asked to get the hair back because she knew what it meant. [00:49:32] She knew what it would highlight. Shortly after that, she's dead. [00:49:38] Officially, it was. She accidentally overdosed. [00:49:43] On the record, they called it suicide because she had suicidal tendencies. And she had talked about trying to kill herself in the past. [00:49:52] And the nature of what it was. [00:49:55] My point is that there was nobody that could help Dana. There's nobody that can help certain people if they don't want to help themselves. [00:50:05] Nobody, celebrity or otherwise, is any different in that regard. We all have that nuance about us. We gotta self has to and that that comes from. I'm always mystified at people that have the courage to kill themselves. [00:50:24] That takes courage. It takes courage that I lack. I don't have the courage to do it. [00:50:29] I. I don't have the courage to do it. [00:50:31] And I don't criticize people that do it. I actually am. I'm surprised that they would have the courage to be able to pull that off. [00:50:39] As sad as that is, something's missing inside. When you get to that point, whether it's drugs or otherwise, or you're just not asking for the help. [00:50:53] There's nothing anybody else can do. [00:50:56] As much as we might want to, much as we might try. [00:51:00] And we have to accept, as much as it sucks, we have to accept that we individually, humans only have so much power. [00:51:12] The power that we have is the power we were given and the power that we take. [00:51:17] Some people. [00:51:18] Everybody has power. Not everybody is willing to use their power. [00:51:24] Not everybody knows how to find their power. [00:51:27] Some people lack whatever it takes for them to find it. [00:51:34] Even if they have a kid, even if they have the support outlet, but they're still not able or willing or why ever is the case to seek that help. [00:51:48] There's no call to action. It's something I want you to think about. [00:51:53] There's a lot of people that they are. They will do everything they can to try to help somebody else. And I celebrate those people. [00:52:01] I've simply learned sometimes it's harder to do that than it is to let someone find their own strength. This doesn't mean that you let somebody who is suicidal and ignore them let them go. That's not what I'm suggesting. I'm suggesting that when you give a level of effort to try to help people of any reason, caliber, purpose, whatever is happening, you put energy and you tried, you try. [00:52:34] At some point you have to let go that some will not accept that help. They won't accept. [00:52:42] We're trying to help you here. We're trying to do. Let us know if there's something we can do. [00:52:48] And it doesn't mean that we're trying to get money from you. It doesn't mean we're trying to sleep with you. It doesn't mean any of it. We're just trying to be helpful. [00:52:57] Don't turn me away. [00:53:00] And some people just can't deal with it. [00:53:05] So I was fascinated by the idea that a chance meeting, literally a chance meeting turned into the one event I can say that opened up the aha. [00:53:23] It's that easy. I just have to be. [00:53:26] I have to control where the spirit goes. I have to control who and when the spirit connects to. I have to be more thoughtful and I don't want to say less open, but less flexible, let's say with doing it. And by doing that feel better overall. [00:53:48] And there's nothing you can take away from that. [00:53:53] If you've listened this long. I celebrate you. I wanted to go long because I felt bad because I knew that the trivia people weren't going to answer it. [00:54:03] But if you think your game, if you want that smoke, here we go, I'm going to play it. [00:54:10] And once again, I honestly and firmly believe that people are not going to guess this one because it's long since gone from the Internet. But here we go. [00:54:24] All you have to do, listener, is tell me the name of the group that this track was originally intended for, but it didn't turn out like they planned. [00:54:39] And extra bonus if you can tell me why, but all you gotta do is name the musical group that this was intended for. Initially, this is according to the title from where I got it from. [00:54:51] So if you have other information and you can share the source, I'll take a look at it. Long as you can identify the track is the most important. [00:55:00] CasualTalkRadio.net hit the contact form. Let us know with the answer. Tell us your first name and your location with your answer. The first answer correct gets Resident Evil, Requiem for Steam. [00:55:26] Can you name it? Can you identify it? I don't think you can, but if you think you can or you think you've got the smoke, let us know. CasualTalkRadio.net hit the contact form. The name of the artist this was initially intended for is what we're looking for. If you can name the track and another source other than the artist we think it's for, by all means share that. [00:55:49] Don't forget your first name and location. For a chance to win Resident Evil Requin, the first to respond with the correct answer will win a Steam key. [00:56:14] All who all.